Fine
by Mrs. Singing Violin
Summary: At the end of "Resistance," what if Harry didn't buy that the captain was "fine"?


Title: Fine  
Author: Singing Violin  
Series: Star Trek: Voyager  
Rating: K  
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. Please don't sue.  
Summary: At the end of "Resistance," what if Harry Kim didn't buy that the captain was fine?  
Author's Note: For Aunt Kathy, because she asked.

"Captain, are you all right?"

The words penetrated the fog of Kathryn Janeway's mind, and she looked up, startled, to find Ensign Harry Kim looking over at her, concern etched into his features. _How long has he been here? He's probably given me an entire report and I haven't heard a word of it._

"I'm fine," she tried, but as she blinked, a tear rolled down her cheek.

Concern, suddenly, was replaced by alarm, and the ensign froze for a moment. He gulped as he realized he shouldn't be here, shouldn't be witnessing this, but had no viable pretext for a quick exit.

_Shoot_. _I've been careless. Now I have to comfort him, or else I'll have a mutiny on my hands._ She summoned her captain's voice and spoke. "Come, have a seat," she invited, rising and making her way the short distance to the couch, then gracefully sinking onto it. She patted the space next to her, and he reluctantly obliged.

She placed a hand on his knee before she spoke again, this time in a hushed tone. "Do you remember when you got caught in a subspace vacuole and ended up with those people who thought you'd come from the afterlife?"

Harry nodded, not sure why she was bringing this up again, now.

"Do you remember how I told you to take some time to process what you'd been through? How I gave you that time off so that you could truly appreciate the experience and internalize it before moving on?"

He focused his eyes upon her face, silently imploring her to continue. She sighed. "Well, I don't have that luxury, Ensign Kim. I wish I did, but I have to captain this ship. I've just had…an experience, and I'm just trying to forget about it and focus on the ship's business. But it's difficult," she admitted carefully. _It's always difficult, it's just that ensigns don't usually catch me crying afterwards. I'm slipping, or perhaps the Delta Quadrant is getting to me._

Harry seemed to understand, but he was still worried. "Captain, permission to speak freely."

She nodded. "Of course."

"I could tell something wasn't right. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Are you sure you can't…take the time you need?" He braced himself for a reprimand, but was graced with a warm smile.

"If only I could," she acknowledged wistfully. "But really, I'm okay. You just caught me at an…awkward moment." She grabbed his hands in hers and squeezed gently, attempting to give him the reassurance he clearly needed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked hopefully, now more curious than anything else what had so upset his usually-unflappable captain.

She shook her head. "Of course I'll be filing a report, but this was a…personal experience."

Suddenly, the alarm was back, and Harry Kim looked just about ready to jump out of his skin.

_Oh God. That came out very wrong_. She raised a hand. "Please, Ensign. No worries. I didn't mean it…however you're thinking of it. I'm fine, really."

He tried another tactic. "Do you want...I mean, can I…uh…"

"What is it, Harry?" she asked, hoping she could get him out of her office without fueling any gossip or having a complete breakdown.

He started again. "When my mom was upset, she used to say that my hugs made it all better. I thought maybe I could…?"

She smiled then, even as more tears threatened from the corners of her eyes as she was touched by his offer, and also reminded that she had taken him away from his family. "I guess it couldn't hurt. Come here."

With that, he scooted over and took his captain in his arms while she tried valiantly, but unsuccessfully, to quell her tear ducts from producing any more of the incriminating fluid.

As he pulled away, he realized with dismay that the captain looked even more upset than before. _I shouldn't have even asked. What was I thinking? I've humiliated her…and myself._

"Do you want me to get Mr. Tuvok or Commander Chakotay?" he asked.

She shook her head. "That won't be necessary. Tuvok's recovering from his own ordeal, and I'd prefer if Commander Chakotay didn't worry. I'm really fine. Please, can we keep this between the two of us?"

Hesitantly, Harry nodded. "Yes, Captain."

She sighed again. "Oh, Harry, that wasn't an order. It was a request."

"Got it. I won't breathe a word."

She reached up and squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you. You're really very sweet. Now, you're dismissed." She rose then, and he followed, but he paused before exiting.

"Is there something else, Ensign?" she asked, trying desperately to salvage a bit of her authority.

"Just…if you need to talk, I'd be interested in hearing about what happened."

She chuckled slightly then. "I'll keep it in mind. Now, you're dismissed. And that's an order."

"Yes, Captain," he replied, sounding infinitely relieved.

She thought for a moment after he exited, then made a decision. Quickly, she glanced at herself in the mirror to make sure there was no visible evidence of her inner turmoil. _There's nothing important happening right now. I'm sure the ship can do without me for a few hours._

She made her way out to the bridge, where Ensign Kim was dutifully standing at his post, and Commander Chakotay was in the captain's chair. The commander rose, but she raised a hand, stopping him from moving any further.

"Commander, you have the bridge for the rest of the shift," she ordered. "I am taking the afternoon off."

At that, Chakotay eyed her suspiciously. "Is everything all right?" _Why does everyone keep asking me that?_

She smiled, "It will be."

At that, she made her way to the turbolift, passing Ensign Kim along her way. He gave her a knowing smile and a slight nod. She returned his glance. _Thank you, Ensign. I needed that_.


End file.
